“Don’t even think about going anywhere”, “They just don’t do nil-nil”, “It’s not in their language it’s not even in their DNA”…
As the ultra globalisation of Football continues unabated there is always the fear amongst right holders, sponsors and others involved that the viewer is going to switch over. Whether it be switch over to another match, another programme or to a new 21st century distraction there is monumental pressure during big matches for broadcasters and presenters to emphasise the plus points of each half.
Regardless of years of big match experience the people that conclude “it was always gonna be a bit scrappy” are the same people in the media that start the show hailing this very regular meeting of footballing superpowers as “unmissable”.
The marriage of big matches and “humdingers” rarely work out. If you want to see two top sides go at it you either get a damp squib or a nervous affair as tense as customs police interrogation. The closest you are likely to get to big match excitement is one superpower humiliating another superpower. Great for the neutrals and victors but the other teams players, management and fans would rather have their moms show the world their baby pictures.
World Cup matches are always a great example for big match disappointment. Take the 1994 Final in America between Brazil and Italy. FIFA’s big chance of leaving a lasting impression of Soccer on the United States. As a youngster watching the game my two favourite players Romario and Baggio were fighting it out to decide who was the greatest in the world. Unfortunately my only memory from normal and extra time was Pagliuca kissing the Italian post after a close Brazil free kick. The rest of England’s only memory from the match and (sadly) Roberto Baggio’s career was the divine ponytail missing the decisive penalty.
Not only did the big match prophecy tarnish the brilliant Roberto but the Americans even without their big match experience knew the final wasn’t gonna be all that. Yes almost 100,000 people were in the Pasadena Rose Bowl that day but what did Bill Clinton do? He sent his Vice President Al Gore to hand over the trophy. The CIA knows things no one else does. They aren’t gonna fall for that Big Match bullshit and waste the Presidents time.
Vice President Gore wonders what the fuck he is doing in Pasadena. Romario wonders if an absent Bill Clinton is gonna fancy partying with some soccer moms later.
The bigger joke is when it comes to England in the World Cup. Which tends to go two ways:
- Bore draws/uninspiring wins against decidedly weak opposition before…
- Embarrassing defeat in the knock out stages or for those old enough to remember defeat on penalties.
Last year’s World Cup was no exception. Football fanatics and fair weather friends drinking in pubs hours before kick off, money spent on England merchandise all getting caught up in the big game excitement before being brought down to earth like a priest finding out that God doesn’t exist. This time there was no damp squib or tense affair. It was the classic superpower humiliating other superpower. So much for big game excitement and all that optimism.
This big match naivety can be expected when your girlfriends little sister is getting excited about the big match. However those big Champions League nights in slick HD with the fancy sponsors logo’s can still make the most hardened football cynic’s mouth water. Since the expansion of the European Cup in the 90s big matches between the usual Spanish, Italian and English sides are no longer a rare treat but a regular fixture which some say takes away the prestige of these occasions. However big match disappointment goes hand in hand with the European Cup. For all doubters one only needs to go back to the year of 1991 and the dazzling spectacle expected by the mighty Olympique Marseille vs Red Star Belgrade. Just look at the build up:
“This is surely a night for the sparklers”. Cough…
